Yes it’s that time of the month again. No, not that time of the month, but “ranting about broadband” time. 
After a promising phone call a few weeks ago from 3 Mobile Broadband’s Executive Office (in response to my previous post noting general dissatisfaction with my mobile broadband service – or lack thereof) I was looking forward to some progress being made, some problems getting resolved, and in the event that that wasn’t possible – the cancellation of my contract.
I spoke to a very pleasant gentleman named Charles, who agreed that asking me to pay £15 every month for a broadband connection that didn’t connect was a bit on the unreasonable side. He advised that he was going off to get his techie guys to look into our problems, find out what the story was, and in the event that our issues couldn’t be resolved satisfactorily, he would arrange for our contract to migrate on to “pay as you go” without breakage fees – hurrah!
Unfortunately, I missed Charles’s call when he phoned me with an update a week past Friday. He did leave a message to say that he’d call back the following Monday (8th June) but so far I’ve heard zippo. Worried that my missing of the callback might be interpreted as my now being happy with my contract, I tried to call Charles back on the number he rang me on.
Of course it went through to the automated service that would ultimately connect me to my friends abroad whose computers have a habit of saying no.
Ever resourceful, I googled “3 executive office, Glasgow” and managed to get hold of a few phone numbers which would take me through to the switchboard.
And the response…?
Switchboard are “not authorised” to put me through to anybody unless I can give them either a call reference or a mobile number for my broadband account. Doesn’t matter that I have the name of who I need to speak to, or that I have been expecting his call for over a week now. Nope, the computer says no again. I will have to rake through paperwork at the microflat tonight to see if I can find either piece of information – although I suspect that as soon as I hand it over they will refuse to connect me on the basis that the account is held in my husband’s name.
Honestly, when did common sense become such a yawning vacuum in corporate customer service? Yes, I agree that we have to have processes and procedures, but surely we should also be able to sensibly assess situations and provide reasonable human responses accordingly?
So, the purpose of this rant is really to say – Charles, if you’re out there – please call me back and help me get this situation resolved. I’m tired of not being able to access the internet, I’m tired of not being able to update my blog (I’m making this entry on a friend’s network) because 3 doesn’t do WordPress admin, and I’m really really tired of going round in circles with call centres and switchboards.
It’s just not cricket!

on for the last few months, yet I haven’t been able to post any of it due to my stupidly ineffective mobile broadband contract.
I had a good chuckle to myself this morning on reading an article brought to my attention by somebody on Twitter.
I have arrived late at my desk today, sporting a fetching tiredness tic which is causing my right eye to twitch randomly and annoyingly in the manner of an even-creepier-than-normal Anne Robinson. I am lacking motivation, and haven’t been able to bring myself to do anything on today’s to-do list beyond the unofficial entries: “make coffee for self” and “check tomatoes on facebook farm.”
I found out the day before yesterday that the TV show Hollyoaks had released its own perfume towards the end of last year.
A little against my better judgment, I spent some time watching a TV discussion show this morning. Today it was all about young people who take vows of chastity until marriage, and it featured a number of nice, extremely articulate and fresh-faced young women who were determined to save their virginity until they’d been walked down the aisle by some (presumably very patient) nice, fresh-faced young men.
15 things I realised recently
March 27, 2009 by Elaine Gunn
2. My digital radio not only has an alarm clock and a sleep function, but the digital display is light-sensitive – so it turns out the light when you do; saving you from nasty LED glare in the middle of the night. How jolly clever!
3. You don’t need to buy an expensive vegetable steamer if you have a pot and a sieve.
4. Using greasy body lotion before going to sleep in an extremely cold room is a mistake.
5. Any timescales quoted by your solicitor as being reasonable for completion of a property deal should be at least tripled before you’re even close.
6. I will never learn how to play the piano properly.
7. Dishwashers need to have some kind of special salt added to them regularly, or your dishes will eventually start to come out more clarty than they were when they went in.
8. Adding salt after realisation number 7 will not bring your wine glasses back from cloudy hideousness.
9. Enid Blyton was a bit more risqué than I had previously supposed. Uncle Dick and Aunt Fanny anybody?
10. Nobody wants to spend money on business writers during a recession. They think they can do it themselves. Sigh.
11. My feet go blue with alarming regularity.
12. I don’t suit my natural hair colour. Turns out there was a reason I started dyeing it 15 years ago.
13. It’s actually pretty easy to get a part in a movie – if you really want to, and you don’t mind that it’s unpaid and directed by a student. Hey, everybody starts somewhere…
14. A squeegee is far better than a towel for wiping down your wet room after showering. Oh if only we’d known, perhaps our downstairs neighbour wouldn’t have lost her ceiling.
15. If you’re feeling in any way blue, down or sad, visit www.comparethemeerkat.com for instant chuckles. Either that or watch the sneezing panda on You Tube.
Posted in Social commentary | Tagged lists, realisations, sneezing panda | 2 Comments »